love
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572 Days
It has been 572 days since my son died, and I still don’t know how to explain what it’s like to live inside this kind of absence. My grief feels both abstract and concrete—so uncomfortably quiet it sometimes feels unbearably… Continue reading
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The Quiet and The Loud
Grief is quiet and loud, constant and ever-present. Continue reading
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Some Things I’ve Learned From Loving and Losing My Son
Recently, my daughter Kelly said something that hollowed out the air around us:“My presence will never be as big as his absence.” She was speaking about her brother, Tom. And in some ways, she wasn’t wrong. His absence is vast.… Continue reading
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The Weight of the Unfixable
Today marks ten months since Tom died. 304 days faced with the same harsh truth: nothing I do or say, no force of will or amount of love will bring him back. I used to tell my kids: “As long… Continue reading
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Thank You For Asking
Yesterday, I had a conversation with a colleague that started the way many do—talking about life’s milestones. She shared stories about her young children, including the one she’s expecting, and I talked about my daughter, who is getting married and… Continue reading
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Lemons and Rose-Colored Glasses
Life has handed me its fair share of challenges, yet I’ve never been one to dwell in darkness. I’ve found a silver lining through every storm, and through every heartbreak, a healing. Some may call it optimism, or say it’s… Continue reading
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This Hole You Left
My Sweet Boy, I miss you. I wish I could describe the hole left in my world, in my life, by your absence. One day, we were making plans for my first visit to your new city—what you would show… Continue reading
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A Reality We Wish Was Not Ours
Yesterday marked 8 months since Tom died. It’s been 246 days without him on this earth. I attended my monthly grief group last night with four other moms and a dad, who all lost a child. Together with our facilitator/counselor,… Continue reading
Soul Searching 